limerence.

published in Chaotic Merge.

limerence.

awakening from my rest,

i feel a presence beside me.

a body as warm as freshly molded clay,

tangled between my arms

quite peacefully, at ease,

like they are silently meditating.

-

their breath like water,

each exhale streams through

the air as softly as a breeze,

and i soon, find myself mimicking,

their quiet elegance.

-

i wonder how long they’ve been there,

and how long it’s been since

i left the conscious plane.

how’d i even get here?

i begin to think.

before a slight movement rustles the sheets,

gliding their curly hair across my skin

with a silkiness so familiar,

it recalls me.

-

i lift my head above my chest

to see their face,

lit up by warm features,

full lips, and a beauty

that unnerves me.

asleep, but radiating.

-

a person, i remember as vividly

as the day we first met,

coincidentally, at a campus event,

two years ago, on a hot summer day,

sweat on our faces with the sheen

of a mod podge glaze.

-

i got their number that day,

but it was only for a brief moment,

before we drifted away.

-

just as coincidentally,

we met again, four months ago

in an elevator to our rooms,

same building, nearby floors,

on a ride that was awkward,

yet somehow comforting enough

for a rekindling.

-

but like before, it was brief,

and since then, they’ve

been living in my dreams,

as a phantom of withheld affection,

haunting me in my waking hours,

across the street, in the arms of another.

-

how’d i get here?

from a bar to these sheets.

i ponder, but i release

the thought to savor the memory.

-

i used to imagine their affection,

now i feel it pressed beside me—

a manifestation of bliss,

in the shape, of a person.

-

with lavender lush in my veins,

i burrow my head into their neck,

rather slowly, becoming one with them.

-

so, i let the light of my eyes dwindle into night,

relaxing my heartbeat into a

rhythmic metronome

sewn from a ballad of romance,

before lucidity catches me again.

-

clasping my hands with theirs,

the sky, gradually brightens,

into a toothy smile, windows,

collections of morning dews-

ushering the sun to creek its

way into our room-

a golden stencil on their face

as they awake.

-

i watch their eyes flutter into a crease,

and so does mine, as the sun lifts it chin,

to perch into place.

-

dusk now replaced,

the skies revive oceanic tints,

and i get caught in the distance—

so overwhelmed with affection,

i curl back into them-

reaching across the sheets,

but i feel a coldness that alerts me.

-

it’s empty, and likewise, their print.

-

i search the room for remnants,

but the phantom has left no plasma from it,

only the moonlight limerence,

our connection resides within.